hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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