another moral hangover. fuck.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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