so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
