when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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