Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
