She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
