They should really pass out barf bags in church
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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