Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
