Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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