i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
