dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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