wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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