i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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