Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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