fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
