I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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