PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
