I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
