Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
