The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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