Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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