This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I came so hard my ears popped.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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