did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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