I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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