I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
