I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
His nipple licking is glorious
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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