I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
