I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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