Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
