my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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