i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
