Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
