last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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