Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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