Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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