I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
