If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
