I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
the liver wants what the liver wants
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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