i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
ttyl tear gas
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
