Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
