if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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