Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
