My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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