this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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