what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
