Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I don't deserve a penis
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
