Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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