yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
