ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize