your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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