My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize