piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
