Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ketchup is God's man juice
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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