found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
