yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
