Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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