well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
is it fun? or sober?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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