the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
