I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize