I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize